Verdicts of Respected Scholars on the Matter
Opening: The Advice of Ash-Shaykh ‘Ubayd Al-Jaabiree on the phenomenon - hafidhahullaah [Taken from sahab.net]
‘I like to call attention to a very dangerous matter which many Muslim men and women who ascribe themselves to knowledge have fallen into. We have (often) discussed this matter but many would not listen to advice. The news of its portent danger has reached me; such that one finds difficulty in mentioning it. The matter is the issue of private discussions and communication via phones.
This matter has become entrenched with many men and women on the claim that they do Da’wah (to each other). A weak and sickening justification. It is not hidden from every Muslim male and female whose heart is filled with the fear of Allaah that seclusion with the opposite sex is haram. With what I have been told, this matter (of online communication and the likes), with what it contains of harmful effects, is worse than seclusion with the opposite sex. Remaining alone with the opposite sex in the house or in a car will call for people’s attention, as for Internet and phone communications, it is a hidden seclusion only the Originator of the heavens and the earth can see, then the Honourable Writers (among the angels).
Many women have complained of how preoccupied their spouses have been due to these communications.
Below are some of the evils in these communications:
1. It takes one away from knowledge. Whoever gets busied with discussing what makes him feel all right will get swerved from sittings of knowledge, and this is practically an act of dissuading from Allaah.
2. These communications have great effects on the heart such that they make people hang on one another. This, no doubt, is a tribulation and a path for the devil to come in. It is therefore not permissible for you, O young woman, to spend your time with unrelated men, exchanging messages with them in the name of Da’wah.
I call on every Muslim man and woman ascribing themselves to the Sunnah to shun this act which Shaytaan has opened and beautified for them in their hearts in the name of doing Da’wah and spreading the deen. It is never from the way of the Salaf that their men and women who sit together and chat. A woman would rather ask a scholar about what she needed to ask about in her deen. So also was if a woman scholar was found; she would sit and wait for other women to take knowledge from her, and if men were the seekers, she would teach them in the presence of her mahram and from behind the screen.
This is what I like to call attention to. Allaah knows I only intended Nasee’ah.
Fatwah of Lajna Daaimah [no:11533]
Question: I have a bosom friend whom anytime I visit I would meet him talking with young girls via the phone, he would make jokes with them and they would reciprocate the jokes. Sometimes too I would talk to them (to warn them). What can I do – upon the fact that he is my best friend on earth – what can I say to them, how can I warn them?
Answer: It is forbidden to talk with women with lewdness except with your wife or your slaves because that is a path to Fitnah, and cause of tribulation. What you have said is prohibited by the Shareeah, just as it prohibits being in seclusion with an opposite sex, or a woman travelling without a mahram. So fear Allaah, advise your friend that he should desist from joking with women, and from all forms of tribulations.
Only Allaah can grant success
Fatwa of Ash-Shaykh Muhammad bn Saalih Al-Uthaymeen - Rahimahullaah
He said: ‘So also is when the man is pleased with the woman and the marriage request (khitbah) had taken place, he cannot talk with her. Period. Some suitors talk with their would-be wives via telephones, you will see him sit with her for hours talking. If you were to tell him: this is not permissible; this woman is not related to you, why do you talk with her? He would reply: ‘I am observing how civilized she is.’ Why are you observing her civilization? Haven’t you sent a marriage request to her having got pleased with her? there is no need for studying her civilization. If you want her, carry out the ‘Aqd with her then talk with her as much as possible. But that you speak with her while she is not related to you while the ‘Aqd has not taken place, this is not permissible. Many have been afflicted with this, you will see him speaking with the woman all night. Speaking with friends kill time, [goes the adage]. So we warn from this.’
He was also asked: ‘What is the ruling on communications between young men and women upon the thought that such is free from sin and lewdness’
He replied: ‘It is not permissible for anybody to communicate with a woman he is not related with because of what that contains of Fitnah. The sender might think there is no Fitnah in the communication but Shaytaan will not cease to deceive both of them until they commit sin. The Messenger of Allaah – salallaahu alahyi wa sallam – has commanded that whoever hears of Dajjaal should stay away from him. He said a man would approach Dajjaal as a believer but the former will not cease to cause trial to the latter.
There is in young men and women communication a lot of trials and danger, shunning it is a must even if the person asking the question says there is no lewdness or Fitnah in it.
Fatwa of Shaykh Al-Albaanee - Rahimahullaah
Questioner: Assalaam alaykum
Shaykh: Wa alaykum salaam wa rahmatullaah
Questioner: Excuse me, is the honourable Shaykh Al-Albaanee available?
Shaykh: Yes, he is with you.
Questioner: If you allow me to, O Shaykh, I have some questions.
Shaykh: Go ahead.
Questioner: Is it permissible for me to talk with my would-be wife via the phone.
Shaykh: Have you done ‘Aqd with her?
Questioner: Not yet.
Shaykh: It is not permissible.
Questioner: Not permissible?
Shaykh: Not permissible
Questioner: Even if it is just to give her … advice?
Shaykh: Not permissible.
Questioner: Ok. But O Shaykh there are some circumstances when one will need to talk with her. That also not permissible?
Shaykh: I don’t think there is any necessity that will make you speak with her.
Questioner: For example, is it possible I discuss some fundamental issues with her such that I visit her at a particular period of time; is that possible?
Shaykh: Why will you visit her? What is the difference between her and other women?
Questioner: Does that mean I can’t visit her?
Shaykh: O my brother, with what you have said, what is the difference between her and other women? Why will you visit her? Will you speak with her alone or her guardian will be with her?
Questioner: Her guardian will be with her.
Shaykh: You can speak with her if her guardian will be there from the beginning.
Fatwa of Shaykh Saalih Al-Fawzaan - hafidhahullaah
The Shaykh was asked: What is the ruling on sending mails to young women? What is the rulings if those mails contain beneficial things such as literary messages?
The Shaykh answered: Exchange of writings with women is basically not permissible when it is from men not related with those women, this is because of what that contains of Fitnah and tribulations, even if the lady is into literary activities, this is because preventing harm takes precedence before bringing benefits. There are many evil consequences that follow such communications between young men and women.