Hadeeth Exposition: 'Any Woman Who Marries Herself Off...' By Dr Sharaf Gbadebo

Saturday 21-May-2022, 10:17PM / 1142

Translation: Abu Ubayy Sharif Hamzah

This is hadeeth 921 from `Aaishah (radiyallaahu `anhaa) said that Allaah's Messenger (salallaahu`alaihi wassallam) said:

???????? ????????? ???????? ???????? ?????? ?????????? ???????????? ??????? ???????????? ??????? ???????????? ??????? ?????? ?????? ????? ??????? ????????? ????? ?????????? ???? ????????? ?????? ??????????? ?????????????? ??????? ???? ??? ??????? ????

Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian (waliyy), then her marriage is invalid.

He repeated it thre. Then he - sallallaahu alahyi wa sallam - said:

If he consummates with her, she is entitled to the dowry due to his making permissible her private parts. And if they dispute over her guardianship, then the  ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian.

Reported by Abu Dawood, Ibn Maajah, At-Tirmidhee,  Abu `Awaanah in his Musnad,Ibn Hibbaan, . Al-Haakim; they all said the hadeeth is Saheeh.

This hadeeth teaches us that under the law of Allaah, a woman must not marry herself out and the one who is not the parents of a woman can't give out her hand in marriage unless the parents of the child had already given them the permission to give out her hand in marriage. 

What the law states is; "You must not interfere in what does not concern you", especially, the law of Allaah states that you must be very careful in affairs that would make a woman's private region become permissible for a man. 

 Islaam forbids all atrocities and it also hinders us from the ways that could lead to all atrocities.

As we are forbidden from all these attributes, we must ensure that we take ample care of the ways by which a woman becomes a wife and vice versa as it is stipulated in the laws of Allaah, also in a way that it is not against the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad - sallallaahu alahyi wa sallam. 

As a result of this; a woman may be wise, brilliant, and knowledgeable, and has attained a high level in her educational career just like a man; Allaah blesses the men as He blesses the women. 

But in Islaam; the (Shareeah) - a law which comes from Allaah and which no one must go against - does not allow a woman to marry herself to a man as a result of being wise, brilliant and knowledgeable, with all the evidences she had heard; (she may say) since all these days she has been learning since elementary level till she bagged a degree no one surpasses her in school (she's always the first in class). 

(In defiance), she may say: as wise and knowledgeable as I am, someone now says I can't get myself married. 

Such does not exist under the law of Allaah; a woman will always be a woman, A woman's status is less than a man's just as the grandmother of Maryam who was the mother of Prophet Eesa said (in the Qur'an), Allaah says:

Then when she delivered her [child Maryam ], she said: "O my Lord! I have delivered a female child," - and Allah knew better what she delivered,  And the male is not like the female..." (Al-Imran verse 36). 

And Allaah did not say she made a mistake.

A woman must not marry herself out even if you dearly love the person you want to marry and you don't want to lose him, you can't marry him without the consent of your father because that's how it is stated in the laws of Allaah and whatever is laid down in the laws of Allaah, we dare not say we are not pleased with it. 

A woman can not marry herself out, it must be her father who gives her hand out in marriage. 

Even if you and your father are not on good terms, you must find a way to meet him to give out your hand in marriage. The father who had abandoned you since a tender age, he doesn't know how you eat, drink etc. that is the ?ame father you will go and meet. 

It is not permissible for you to marry yourself out to a man without the consent of your father or the one who is in the position of your father after his demise or the person who is in the position of your father and who performs the role of your father after his demise such as his family members; those who are independent. 

In the science of inheritance; they are those who are entitled to inherit all what a deceased left if they are the only ones who survived the deceased and if others had been given their share as commanded by Allaah, they are the ones who would inherit the remaining money. 

Such as one's father, as you  can give out your daughter's hand in marriage, your father can also give out your daughter's hand in marriage. 

Your great grand fathers can also give out your daughter's hand in marriage. 

Likewise, your siblings from the same father and mother or your siblings from the same father (but different mothers) except your siblings from the same mother (with different father) can't give out your daughters hand in marriage. 

Likewise, your brothers with whom you share the same father and mother with or they share the same father with. 

The male children of a woman can give out the hand of their mother in marriage and the male  grandchildren can also marry out the hands of their mother or their  grand mother in marriage. 

In this hadeeth; a statement is uses: "Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian (waliyy), then her marriage is invalid." This does not mean if a woman has sought the permission of her parents, she can marry herself off. Just like: daddy I have seen someone I want to marry, do you give me the permission to marry him or not? And the father replies:" I give my permission, go and marry him." Such does not exist in islaam. 

'Go and marry him, my daughter!' Just like that? He has to bring his father then we will give out your hand in marriage to him. 

It's upon you to know that there is no how old a woman may be and the number of husbands she wants to get married to; that we would say there is no need to go back to her father to give out her hand in marriage. 

No matter how old a woman may be, even if she is 50 years old; it is her father that will give out her hand in marriage if he is alive and if he is dead; it is those who (have been referred to above). 

Let's say she has been married before but as a result of divorce or the death of her husband she wants to marry another husband (or the 3rd, 4th and as the number may be) it is her father that we would still go and meet to give out her hand in marriage. 

I hope we understand. Because people are (fond of the habit) of telling women nonsense in order to marry her and this often results in cohabiting with here Illegally. 

They would say they do not need to go back to her father; why is it not important? Was she the one who gave birth to herself? It does not mean she is a secondhand goods no matter the number of divorce, you must still go back to her father to marry her off . That's it. 

This hadeeth does not mean that a woman can just seek permission from her parents and then go ahead to marry herself off  because what is not understood in an hadeeth will be explained by another hadeeth. 

And another hadeeth says: "There is no marriage without the waliyy" which means a nikaah won't be complete and called nikaah in the shareeah  except if  the father is the one who gives out the hand of her daughter in marriage. 

Because the verse that says:"... And marry them with the permission of their guardians..." (Nisaa vs 25) does not mean that I have seen a woman I want to marry and the father says I have given my permission, No, the father will give out her hand (in marriage) to you is what that verse says. 

That's the reason that whenever you are marrying out your daughter; you should not say :"I give my permission" alone, if you say such the nuptial knot has not been tied with what you said  because "I give my permission" is not the statement of proposal and acceptance. 

Proposal and acceptance must be in a nikaah and that is what will make the nikaah genuine and it is what makes a woman permissible for a man and the vice versa. 

The statement of proposal must come from the father of the woman and the statement of acceptance must come from the husband. 

(The statement of) proposal  is ????? ?  or ??? ??? or ??? ??? "I marry her off  to  you" is the meaning and you (the husband) will say I accept her as my wife. That is and there must be two witnesses, you will pay her bride price.
The Sharee'ah says the best is the statements (of proposal and acceptance) should be uttered in Arabic language if the bride's father and the husband understand Arabic language because that statement can't be given another meaning in Arabic except what you intend to use it for unlike other languages; if you don't give it an exact meaning; it could  have many meanings. 

They will say have you given them your daughter, you replied; we have given them the permission " what did you give out?? If we can't say it in Arabic, we would look for an exact translation of the statement. This is very important. 
There are three different types of statements in the shareeah; there are three types of statements the Shareaah orders us to utter;

There are some statements that's what the shareeah intends with it is how they are being uttered. You have to utter it as it is being uttered. 

And there are some statements that what the shareeah intends with it is their meanings. 

And there are some statements that what shareeah says if you can utter them as they are being uttered it is better than uttering their translations (in other languages). 

The first type of statement will be uttered as it is being uttered such as reading of the Qur'an, how Allaah said it is how you will say it; you won't say I also understand Arabic language where "Ta" it should be replaced with "Ya" when it is not that you're not OK. How it was revealed is how you will utter it! So that you won't blame yourself.

This is the Qur'an, when you're pronouncing it, don't think it is the Qur'an you're uttering. 

And you say (in other than the Arabic Language): All praise belongs to Allaah; the lord of the universe. The most beneficent, the most merciful, the king of the day of judgment, you alone we worship... (Dr laughs) You know you are deceiving yourself. Just imagine if we have one damn Imam saying such , we seek Allaah's refuge from such. That's it. 

Just as when the call to prayer is being made and someone said ???? ???? ???? ???? And He said Allaah is the greatest, Allaah is the greatest, haven't you heard of such? I have heard of it in one radio in Nigeria, That's how they paid for such advert on behalf of a man and after translating all the Adhan, he said that's the called to prayer you heard. That's a  problem. 

If we understand this, it means how some words are being pronounced in the shareeah, that is the same way you will pronounce them.  They are unchangeable. 

An example of it  (such statements) is At-Tashahud, the way it was revealed is how you will pronounce it. Take a look at Al-Faatiah as an example;  you saiy: "You alone we worship; You alone we ask for help" and you are the only one performing salaat, you said: "You alone we worship" How many people???  

You know that's how you used to speak yoruba; instead of you to say "I want to ask a question" you said we want to ask a question? How many people??? I hope we understand. 

Take a look at the "Iyyaaka na'budu wa lyyaaka nasta'een"  despite  you being the  only one (singular) performing Salaat, who would say you made a mistake??? There is no one. How Allaah said it is the way you will pronounce it. 

You won't say ". Iyyaaka aa'budu wa lyyaaka aasta'een", one could become a disbelievers as a result of it. You changed the word of Allaah when you are not sick.. 

The way it was revealed is how we would say it. You won't say "Ihdinii-Siraatal-Mustaqeem instead you would say ihdinaa likewise At-tashahud..... 

To be continued in Sha Allaah