Islamic Guide to Maximum Legal Sexual Relations (I)

Saturday 22-Dec-2018, 4:41PM / 2189

By: Adebayo DhikruLlahi Laspalmas (Aboo Sahl Al-Atharee)
11-04-1440 A. H (Wednesday 19 of December 2018. 

All praises and adoration be to Allaah, choicest blessing be upon our dear Prophet (sallaLlaahu alayhi wa sallam) his household and companions. Aameen.

Copulation is an innate activity and a means to satisfying libido by every creation of Allaah, with Mankind and Jinn standing out from the rest of them for being Mukallaf (charged with religious duties), thereby having to abide by the basic orders from Allaah and His prophet.


Prohibition of Copulating out of Wedlock

Indeed, the Sharee'ah frowns at and profer severe punishment for copulating out of wedlock.

Allaah says:
الزَّانِيَةُ وَالزَّانِي فَاجْلِدُوا كُلَّ وَاحِدٍ مِنْهُمَا مِائَةَ جَلْدَةٍ ۖ وَلَا تَأْخُذْكُمْ بِهِمَا رَأْفَةٌ فِي دِينِ اللَّهِ إِنْ كُنْتُمْ تُؤْمِنُونَ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ ۖ وَلْيَشْهَدْ عَذَابَهُمَا طَائِفَةٌ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ
The woman and the man guilty of illegal sexual intercourse, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allah, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment. (This punishment is for unmarried persons guilty of the above crime but if married persons commit it, the punishment is to stone them to death, according to Allah's Law) (An-Nūr:2)

The Messenger of Allaah (sallaLlaahu alayhi wa sallam) said: 
"The blood of a Muslim who confesses that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah and that I am His Apostle, cannot be shed except in three cases: In Qisas (retribution) for murder, a married person who commits illegal sexual intercourse and the one who reverts from Islam (apostate) and leaves the Muslims". (Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree hadeeth number 6767)

Narrated Abu Hurairah:
"A man from among the people, came to Allaah's Apostle while Allaah's Apostle was sitting in the mosque, and addressed him, saying, "O Allaah's Apostle! I have committed an illegal sexual intercourse." The Prophet (sallaLlaahu alayhi wa sallam) turned his face away from him. The man came to that side to which the Prophet (sallaLlaahu alayhi wa sallam) had turned his face, and said, "O Allah's Apostle! I have committed an illegal intercourse." The Prophet (sallaLlaahu alayhi wa sallam) turned his face to the other side, and the man came to that side, and when he confessed four times, the Prophet called him and said, "Are you mad?" He said, "No, O Allah's Apostle!" The Prophet said, "Are you married?" He said, "Yes, O Allah's Apostle." The Prophet said (to the people), "Take him away and stone him to death." Ibn Shihab added, "I was told by one who heard Jabir, that Jabir said, I was among those who stoned the man, and we stoned him at the Musalla (`Id praying Place), and when the stones troubled him, he jumped quickly and ran away, but we overtook him at Al-Harra and stoned him to death (there)". (Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree hadeeth number 6692)

The Prophet (sallaLlaahu alayhi wa sallam) said:
"O Unais! Go to the wife of this (man) and if she confesses (that she has committed illegal sexual intercourse), then stone her to death" (Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree hadeeth number 2234)


No Celibacy in Islaam

Allaah says: 
وَلَقَدْ أَرْسَلْنَا رُسُلًا مِنْ قَبْلِكَ وَجَعَلْنَا لَهُمْ أَزْوَاجًا وَذُرِّيَّةً 
"Indeed We have sent messengers before you (O Muhammad sallaLaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) and we made for them wifes and offsprings" (Ar-Ra'd:38)

Allaah says:
وَرَهْبَانِيَّةً ابْتَدَعُوهَا مَا كَتَبْنَاهَا عَلَيْهِمْ إِلَّا ابْتِغَاءَ رِضْوَانِ اللَّهَِ
"...and the monasticism which they invented for themselves, we did not prescribe for them, but (they sought it) only to please Allaah therewith..." (Al-Hadeed:27)

In the report of 'Aaisha: The Prophet sallaLlaahu 'alayhi wa sallam told 'Uthmaan (bn Madh'oon):

'Monasticism is not prescribed for us, am I not (suffice as) a role-model for you?' (Musnad Ahmad hadeeth number 25365 and Ad-Daarimee reported the like in hadeeth number 2169. Al-Albaanee classed it authentic in As-Saheehah hadeeth number 394).


Restraining the Sexual Drives among the Non-Married 

Allaah The Sublime says: 
قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ
"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze..." (An-Nur:30)

He also says:
وَقُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنَاتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ
"Tell the believing women to lower their gaze and protect their private parts and not show off their adornments..." (An-Nūr:31)

He also says:
فَلَا تَخْضَعْنَ بِالْقَوْلِ فَيَطْمَعَ الَّذِي فِي قَلْبِهِ مَرَضٌ
"...then be not soft in speech, lest is he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy and desire of adultery etc)..." (Al-Ahzaab:32).

And Prophet sallaLaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said:
"He who can afford to marry should marry, because it will help him refrain from looking at other women, and save his private part from committing illegal sexual relation; and he who cannot afford to marry is advised to fast, as fasting will diminish his sexual urges." (Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree hadeeth number 1844).

The Prophet sallaLaahu 'alayhi wa sallam again said, 
"Beware! Avoid sitting on the roads (pathways)." The people said, "There is no way out of it as these are our sitting places where we have talks." The Prophet (sallaLlaahu alayhi wa sallam) said, "If you must sit there, then observe the rights of the pathway." They asked, "What are the rights of the pathway?" He said, "They are the lowering of your gazes (on seeing what is illegal to look at) (Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree hadeeth number 6229 and Muslim hadeeth number 2121).

The Prophet sallaLaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said again:
"The woman is Awrah, so when she goes out, the Shaitan seeks to tempt her. (Sunan At-Tirmidhee hadeeth number 1199. Al-Albaanee classed it authentic in As Saheehah, hadeeth number 2688).

Conditions Before Marriage 

Allaah says:
فَانْكِحُوهُنَّ بِإِذْنِ أَهْلِهِنَّ وَآتُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ مُحْصَنَاتٍ غَيْرَ مُسَافِحَاتٍ وَلَا مُتَّخِذَاتِ أَخْدَانٍ
"...Wed them with the permission of their own folk (guardians, Auliya' or masters) and give them their Mahr according to what is reasonable; they (the above said captive and slave-girls) should be chaste, not adulterous, nor taking boy-friends" (An-Nisaa':25)

The Messenger of Allah (sallaLlaahu alayhi wa sallam) said: 
"There is no marriage except with a Wali." 
(Sunan At Tirmidhee hadeeth number 1117, Sunan Abee Daawood hadeeth number 2085 and Sunan Ibn Majah hadeeth. Al-Albaanee graded it authentic Saheeh Al Jaami' hadeeth number 7555 number1880)

Once the nuptial knot is tied, the couples are free to quench their burning libido, as the Sublime says:
نِسَاؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَكُمْ فَأْتُوا حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّىٰ شِئْتُمْ ۖ وَقَدِّمُوا لِأَنْفُسِكُمْ
"Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will, and send (good deeds, or ask Allah to bestow upon you pious offspring) before you for your ownselves..." (Al-Baqarah:223)


The Wife Has Right to Copulation Whenever She Needs it

As the husband have the right to ask for it, wife also have right, as Allaah says:
 هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَكُمْ وَأَنْتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَهُنّ
"They are Libas [i.e. body cover, or screen, or Sakan, (i.e. you enjoy the pleasure of living with her - as in Verse 7:189) Tafsir At-Tabari], for you and you are the same for them." (Baqarah:187)

So, husband should fear and give her as she asks for it. It is the opposite of righteousness (by a husband) who marries a young girl that her libido equals to his libido or more than his in manifold, to taste her honey pot once in a lifetime. Whosoever deems this as righteousness, it is enough for his (own) nature to retort him.

Al Imaam Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyy said (Rawdah Al-Muhibbeen pp. 314-315): Some scholars said; It is not an obligation upon the husband to copulate with her, It is just a right, if he likes, he can fulfill it, if he likes he can abandon it, similar to who rents an abode, if he likes he can live in it and if he doesn't wish he can abandon it. This is the most weak among the opinions.

Some also said: It is an obligation upon him once in lifetime. This is also null and void.

Some also said: It is an obligation to copulate with her once in four months. This is also not correct.

Other scholars said: Rather, it is an obligation upon him to copulate with her with goodness, as he spends on her, cloth her and live with righteousness. Indeed, this is the pillar and intent of righteousness. Allaah had commanded to live with them righteously. And the copulation is included in righteousness, no doubt. It is upon him to satisfy her sexually, if he is able, as he satisfy her provisionally.

Ash-Sha’bi (رحمةلله) reported that Ka’b Bin Sur was sitting with ‘Umar when a woman came and said, “O Ameer al-Mu’mineen! I have never seen a man better than my husband. By Allah, he prays the night and fasts the day.” Upon hearing this, ‘Umar praised the woman and supplicated for her, and she shyly departed. Ka’b then said, “O Ameer al-Mu’mineen! Shouldn’t you have considered her accusation against her husband, for she indeed was quite eloquent in her complaint!” ‘Umar replied, “Why do you not judge between them, for you have understood about her situation that which I did not.” [After he judged], ‘Umar said, “By Allah, your first understanding (of her situation) is not more amazing then the second (the judgement). I hereby appoint you as judge over Al-Basrah, and indeed, you are a remarkable judge.” (Recorded by Ibn Abi Shaybah and others. Verified to be authentic by Al-Albaanee (Irwa’ ul-Ghaleel no. 2016).

In Al-Jaami' Al Ahkaam vol.5 p.15;
Ka'b said: This woman was complaining about her husband, that he isolated her from his bed.


No Harm in High Libido

Allaah The High says:
فَانْكِحُوا مَا طَابَ لَكُمْ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ مَثْنَىٰ وَثُلَاثَ وَرُبَاعَ ۖ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَدْنَىٰ أَلَّا تَعُولُوا
"...Then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice. (An-Nisaa:3)

Al Imaam As-Sa'dee said (Tayseer Al-Kareem Ar-Rahmman p.145): "Because man may not be able to quench his libido with one (wife), thus it was recommended for him to marry one after one till it reaches four. Because four suffices everyone."

The Messenger of Allah (sallaLlaahu alayhi wa sallam) said,
"Once (Nabiyy) Sulaimaan, son of (Nabiyy) Daawood said, (By Allah) Tonight I will have sexual intercourse with one hundred (or ninety-nine) women each of whom will give birth to a knight who will fight in Allah's Cause. (Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree hadeeth number 2720, Saheeh Al-Muslim and Sunan Abee Daawood).

Anas bn Malik reported:
"The Prophet used to have sexual intercourse with all of his wives in one night with one bath" (Saheeh Al-Jaami' hadeeth number 4977).

An-Nawawee (Al-Minhaaj vol.11 p.120) said: "...all of these are from strong sexual appetite"

Narrated `Ali:
"I used to get emotional urethral discharges frequently..." (Saheeh Al Bukhaaree hadeeth number 177 and Saheeh Al-Muslim).

Ibn Mulaqin (Al 'Ilaam vol.1 p.645) said: "Pre-seminal fluid is commonly discharged when man plays, kisses (and the likes from the methods of foreplay) his wife."

Al Imaam Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyy (Rawdah Al-Muhibbeen p.216) narrated: "AbduLlaahi bn Abee Rab’eeah was from the best man in chaste and righteousness among the Quraysh, his genitalia didn’t repose… he married some women, but they could not stay with him except for some days till they absconded to their family. 

Zaynab bint ‘Umar bn Abee Salamah said: 'What happened to you that you absconded from your uncle (husband).'

They said: 'We can’t withstand him (that’s his copulating ability).'

She (Zaynab bint ‘Umar) said: 'What impeded him from (wooing) me. I’m -by Allaah- an amazing creation, with big sacrum and magnificent genitalia.'
He married her and she resisted him and gave birth to six children."

Ibn Qayyim said (Ar-Rawdah p.312): "Muhammad bn Munkadir do say in his salah; 'Oh Allaah strengthen my genitalia for me, because in it is the amelioration to my wives (Allahumma qawiyy liyy dhakariyy, fa innahu fiyy silaah ahliyy)."

Muhammad bn Sereen said: "Anas bn Malik has a son, he has high sexual urge, then his wife complained about him to Anas. She said: "I can not withstand him (his copulating ability). Then, he allocated for him six times a day."


Love of Women

The great Imaam Aboo 'Abdir-Rahmaan An-Nasaa'ee (rahimahuLlaah) dedicate a chapter for the topic under the book: The Kind Treatment of the Women.

Anas bin Malik said:
"Nothing was dearer to the Messenger of Allah after women than horses." (Sunan An-Nasaaee hadeeth number 3990, Ash-Shaykh Aadam Al-Etiyiobee classed it authentic in Adh-Dhakheerah vol. 28 p. 171)

The Messenger of Allaah (sallaLlaahu alayhi wa sallam) said: 
"Women and perfume have been made dear to me, but my comfort has been provided in prayer." (Ibid hadeeth number 3991)

Ash-Shaykh Al-Etiyiobee said (Adh-Dhaakheerah Al- 'Uqbah, Sharh Al Mujtana vol. 28 p.175):

i)This narration proves the legality of loving women and it doesn't negate the position of prophet-hood (not to talk of piousness [Zuhd]-the compiler).

ii) Loving women and all the worldly enjoyment is not a deficiency, if it does not lead to breaching the rights of servitude (to Allaah).


Copulation as a Means of Earning Reward

The Prophet said (sallaLlaahu alayhi wa sallam):
"...And in man's sexual Intercourse (with his wife ) there is a Sadaqa. They (the Companions) said: Messenger of Allah, is there reward for him who satisfies his sexual passion among us? He said: Tell me, if he were to devote it to something forbidden, would it not be a sin on his part? Similarly, if he were to devote it to something lawful, he should have a reward." (Saheeh Al-Muslim hadeeth number 2335).

Al Haafidh Ibn Rajab Al-Hanbalee said (Al-Jaam' al-Uloom p.390):
The apparent is, this narration means: he will be rewarded on copulating his wife with the intention of seeking for child, in which the reward is built upon educating and teaching him in his lifetime and will be accounted for it when he dies. If he doesn't have intention in fulfilling his urge, the scholars differ on whether it can be categorized under this narration.

I beseech Allaah to keep us firm on the creed and methodology of the pious predecessors, make our dispositions good and make us men -in all ramifications- to our wives. Aameen.

Follow the link below for Part II