MUSLIM ANGLE
Misbaah Olagunju Abool 'Aamaal
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Aalamin wa Salaatu wa Salaam alaa Rasulillah
The Unfortunate
We had just returned from the hospital that fateful evening with her corpse, here we are in my uncle’s place in a city 20 minutes away from our hometown from where we brought her in early that morning when her condition worsened, into this standard teaching hospital hoping to get better medical care from specialists. But as the decision of living and dying is from the sovereignty of the Lord who gives life and provisions – Allah, He decreed that the last meal she’ll take was the tea I spoon-fed her with in the car while heading to the hospital earlier that day, and few hours later, it was time she breathe her last breath (I beseech to Allah have mercy on her and widen her grave)
What Followed
Mum was devastated as expected, losing a child is obviously an unquantifiable agony for a parent, especially a mother, I myself have never been that broken in my life prior that incident, what hit me was an explosion of emotions: pain, sadness, exhaustion, pity, depression, you name it. But it was just me and mum and seeing the state she was in, I have to summon whatever manliness was left in me to console myself and shove those emotions deep inside to allow me be there as a child for a mother whose daughter just died in her presence and was lying lifeless on the sick bed, I have to be her reassurance that she hadn’t lost it all. I was able to get myself together and console my mum with the help of sympathizers around, and I was also able to achieve mental competence to process the death certificate and settle hospital bills so the corpse can be released to us that night so as to prevent taking her to the morgue for an autopsy and preserve her honour as a Muslim even in death.
By the time the certificate was ready, my uncle whom I had called earlier had arrived with a voyage to convey the corpse to his house. What prompted the decision to take the corpse to his house against going back home was, first: I am convinced that I wouldn’t allow her to be buried except in a Maqbar [(Muslim’s Cemetery) as that is the correct and beneficial Islamic practice regarding burying our dead], but the one in my town was still in the process of construction at the time and not opened for use yet.
The second reason was to minimize the wailing, because the more people are aware, the higher the number of wailers, which is again not in the best interest of the dead and the wailers themselves.
The third reason was to prevent mum from having to replay a memory of when she had the corpse of her first daughter over the night in the same house she still lives in. So it was pretty obvious that the best decision was to take the corpse to my uncle’s place to spend the night and prepare her to be buried in a maqbar there in the same city the following morning.
Then I Encountered Brotherhood
Back at my uncle’s place later that day, we set the corpse in and my uncle arranged for someone to help apply some embalmment fluid to preserve it through the night. While the atmosphere was glooming with sorrow, the sound was basically silence with interjections of pleasantries of condolence and consolation from those who were present, and sometimes from over the phone coming from relatives and sympathizers who had just received the news.
I have to start making arrangements for the funeral rites, I told myself. Who do I call on to help? Had we been back home that wouldn’t have been an issue, I would have known where to turn. Of course I know some ikhwah (Muslim brothers) here in this city, I do meet with them whenever I attend the halqah (knowledge circle) of one Islamic teacher here but the relation has been just that, and our conversations have been just pleasantries and occasional knowledge based conversation, nothing personal. I don’t even have the contacts of most of them, and for a couple whose contacts I had, I was reluctant to call them knowing that maybe the reason I have their contacts was to get notification if there was going to be a class or not prior attending, so to think of contacting such a person whom I’m sure wouldn’t even have known who I was over the phone, and tell him: ‘I have a dead sister to bury tomorrow, please can you help mobilize some sisters, maybe your wife and her friends to help with ghasul mayyit (washing the dead)?’ -, will be really awkward. The thought of that made me regret not cultivating a better relationship with my brothers.
Still, I had to get it done one way or the other, so I thought of the next line of action and then I put a call across to a brother who I’m closer to, who lives in the same town as mine and who frequently attends the same halqah. Above all, he knows other brothers at the gathering better than I do because some of them are his former colleagues and many more are his customers who he sells books and other merchandizes to, and making that call to him was the beginning of my encounter with true brotherhood. He wasn’t around at the time, he had travelled to get his stocks but he told me to call one of the brothers who were available at the time and it was one of those I’m reluctant to contact earlier, he also promised to discuss with him first.
So I called as instructed and as promised he already told the brother the situation, I reminded him who I was and without hesitation he started making suggestions on how the task at hand will be executed. It was such a relief, and I couldn’t have thought joy would have been able to steal a moment at such a glooming period. He said he will inform his wife at once so she can contact one of her friends who will assist her with the ghasul the following morning. He also said though he won’t be available to bring the sisters and help out in person, as he will be working, however, he will inform his close friend who has a car to go with them and also assist with the procession. And that felt like I literally tasted the sweetness of Islamic brotherhood on my taste buds, he never acted like he was approached for a favour, rather he responded like I just presented him with an opportunity to do a good deed and also involve his wife. My thought went to the statements Allah –the mighty and sublime-:
إِنَّمَا الْمُؤْمِنُونإِخْوَةٌ فَأَصْلِحُوابَيْنَ أَخَوَيْكُمْ ۚ وَاتَّقُوااللَّهَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُرْحَمُونََ
"The believers are nothing else than brothers (in Islamic religion). So make reconciliation between your brothers, and fear Allah, that you may receive mercy" (Al-Hujuraat: 10)
And the statement of the prophet –salallahu alayhi wa sallam- :
On the authority of Nu’man bin Bashir –radiyallahu anhumaa- that the prophet said: “The similitude of believers in regards to mutual love, affection, fellow-feeling is that of one body; when any limb of it aches, the whole body aches because of sleeplessness and fever” [Sahih Muslim: 2586]
I then proceeded to the market to get the kafn (shrouding cloth), Kaafur (camphor), soap and gloves that night and I had the help of my ustadh whom I called when I became puzzled as to how many yards of cloth would be enough to shroud a corpse of her height for at least the three required minimum times, he also asked about what I have been able to achieve as to the other burial arrangements.
Back at my uncle’s place I asked where I can get a seamster to help make the cloth into kafn, then he took me to someone recommended by one of his friend as being an expert at ‘sewing clothes for the dead’, while they were both making comments on how it’s done from previois experiences, I was thinking of how best to lift their misconceptions and educate them on the what is correct. I eventually found the right moment, so I interjected and told them sewing shrouding clothes into garment, trouser and cap is unnecessary and in contradiction to what is correct according to Islamic injunctions. I then told the seamster to measure the cloth with his rule and cut into three lafaaf (wide rectangular pieces), the first being slightly larger than the second and the second slightly larger than the third, so he did and as well cut pieces from the tip of the cloths to make into thread for tying the kafn around the corpse after wrapping.
And It (Brotherhood) Lingered
Of course the night was longer than usual and I don’t think anyone had any sleep through it, but eventually the day broke and I went to the masjid to observe Salatul Fajr (the Morning Prayer) with my uncle. Afterwards we sprang into action where we left off, my uncle had made arrangement with some people who know their way around a nearby Maqbar and a space has already been secured, some of his friends had also offered to prepare the grave before we arrive with the corpse, so the only thing left now is to prepare the corpse for burial.
I had rechecked the arrangement I made with the brother whose wife will help with the ghasul the previous night to be sure it’s still in play and to confirm when they will arrive. But they were running a little late and my uncle was getting impatient due to pressure from those at the maqbar who were already done at the time with grave excavation, and he had started suggesting that we could even do it ourselves, but I wasn’t going to allow that obviously. After a while, I set out to get other stuffs like perfume and towels which I couldn’t buy the previous night, I also went with the intention of waiting for those coming for the ghasul at the stipulated meeting point. By the time I was done with acquiring the stuffs I wanted, I received their call and was notified that they were almost at the rendezvous point, we eventually met having had no idea the exact person at both ends of the phones until we saw one another, the brother was drove with two veiled sisters seated at the back seat, one of them carrying a baby. We exchanged greetings, they gave me condolence and solidarity gestures and we started heading to the location where the corpses was at once.
On getting there, I presented the sisters with all they required, showed them where they will do the washing and shrouding, I and the other brother assisted them in moving the corpse to the bathroom and they got to work behind the curtains. It took them a while as we waited with the brother holding the baby while they work, when they were done and it was time for takfeen (shrouding) they covered the corpse and summoned us to assist with carrying her to the location for shrouding, and together we carried her and also assisted them whenever they needed hand as they shroud her, like turning the corpse around and tying the shroud around it which the brother did expertly. All was done eventually and the brother once again assisted me with haml-ul jinaazah (conveying the dead), and we never had to carry her for long, only to the vehicle because the location of the maqbar was far therefore the corpse was conveyed by a vehicle. Through all that, I was amazed at the enthusiasm with which the brother and the two sisters approach whatever was needed being done, clearly they exhumed fiqh (understanding) of the religion as they never saw any of those duties as just a favour to a fellow Muslim, rather they were also well apprised of the reward in stock for them by engaging in such meritorious act.
At the cemetery people were already waiting, my ustadh had arrived from our town along with some other brothers who had heard about the incident and tried to be present for the Salaatul janaazah, also present was a brother I met and informed when I went out earlier that morning and a host of other friends, neighbours and colleagues of my uncle, the brother and the two sisters who helped with the corpse were also present, of course they are clearly in it for the full reward so they came along, and a couple of other women were present as well. The prayer was led by the community Imam of my uncle’s street and we all joined hands in doing the dafn (burying). Afterwards my ustadh gave a short sermon and as people were about to leave, the brother with me reminded us about the hadith of the prophet (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) concerning lingering and making dua for the dead after burial.
On the authority of Uthmaan bin ‘Affaan who said: “whenever the prophet (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) finished burying a person, he would stand at the grave and say, “Ask forgiveness for your brother, and pray for his steadfastness, for he is now being questioned” [Sunan Abee Daawuud 2/915, 3215, authenticated by Al-Albani in sahih Abee Dawuud]
We all dispersed that day, and though it was a period which marked a painful and eternal loss in my life, it also doubles as one of my most memorable experience of brotherhood yet. The joy stayed with me since that day, and it has equally changed my perception of fellow Muslims, gave me a firsthand example of the marvelous fruition of giving one another due rights and assistance whenever needed as Muslims, and how effective love and mutual concern can be fostered among the Muslims.
I beseech Allah, the especially merciful to have mercy on the dead Muslims and unite the living upon mutual affection.
