Malik, in his characteristic intellectual shortsightedness, claims that one of the ways Islam subjugates women is by mandating that a widow must remain in waiting for a period of four lunar months and ten days. He seems to question why men are not similarly required to observe a waiting period when their wives die.
He also argues—erroneously—that a woman who is divorced irrevocably (i.e., for the third time) cannot return to her former husband unless she is, according to him, “forced” to marry another man.
This Malik seems to require serious intellectual rehabilitation to realign his reasoning.
Let me address both of these misconceptions together, in shāʾ Allāh.
Yes, a woman must observe a waiting period (ʿiddah) of four months and ten days only when her husband dies—not when her father, brother, or any other male relative passes away.
Malik might ask: What’s so special about the husband that the wife must wait for such a long period after his death?
He seems to be particularly agitated about the idea that the husband remains the head of the family—even in death—for that duration.
But Malik must come to terms with the fact that Allāh, in His Infinite Wisdom (which may never be clear to a mind clouded by satanic delusions), has made the man the head of the family.
Allāh says:
> "Ar-rijāl qawwāmūna ʿala an-nisāʾ"
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women.”
— [Sūrat an-Nisāʾ, 4:34]
This is a divinely ordained structure meant to ensure family stability and cohesion.
Let’s be honest: Malik himself would never accept being under the command of his wife in his own home. No typical Yoruba family, or indeed most traditional cultures, would accept that arrangement.
In Western societies where gender roles are often inverted, we’ve all seen the detrimental effects this has had on family structures—if one dares to be objective.
Therefore, both in Islam and in many African cultures, the role of the man as the head of the household is not arbitrary, but rooted in divine guidance and sociological wisdom.
So when a husband dies, it is akin to the death of a king in the household. The woman is expected to mourn his passing—not because of male superiority, but due to several key considerations, foremost of which is the preservation of lineage.
The ʿIddah of Four Months and Ten Days: Qur’anic Legislation
Allāh says:
> "And those who are taken in death among you and leave wives behind — they [the wives] shall wait four months and ten [days]."
— Sūrat al-Baqarah, 2:234
This waiting period is legislated by Allāh and is rooted in both spiritual and practical wisdom:
1. Honoring the Marital Bond
Even after death, Islam honors the sanctity of marriage. The ʿiddah is a period of mourning, reflection, and respect for the relationship that once existed. It allows time for emotional adjustment and spiritual transition.
2. Certainty Regarding Pregnancy
One of the clearest legal reasons for the waiting period is to ensure that the woman is not pregnant. If she is, the child will be rightly attributed to the deceased husband. This upholds the purity of lineage (nasab), a major objective of Islamic law (maqāṣid ash-sharīʿah).
3. Emotional and Psychological Recovery
The ʿiddah period grants the widow the space and time to recover emotionally before considering remarriage. Islam recognizes grief as a natural human emotion and legislates time for healing.
4. Support from Family and Community
This time allows the woman’s family and community to rally around her, providing emotional and financial support, especially if she was dependent on her husband.
5. Preventing Hastiness in Remarriage
It also protects the woman from rushing into a new marriage out of vulnerability or social pressure. The ʿiddah period provides a time of clarity and thoughtful decision-making.
Why Exactly Four Months and Ten Days?
This is a divine command, and its specific duration is to be accepted in devotion—even if the complete wisdom behind it is not fully understood. However, scholars explain that this duration is sufficient to confirm a woman’s pregnancy status and to allow adequate time for mourning.
Qur’anic Confirmation
> "And those who are taken in death among you and leave wives behind — they [the wives] shall wait four months and ten [days]. Then when they have fulfilled their term, there is no blame upon you for what they do with themselves in an acceptable manner. And Allāh is Fully Aware of what you do."
— Sūrat al-Baqarah, 2:234
This verse is the ḥukm sharʿī (legal ruling) for the ʿiddah, and it comes with clear and final authority.
Prophetic Hadiths
a. Mourning Beyond Three Days
From Umm ʿAtiyyah (may Allāh be pleased with her):
> “We were forbidden to mourn for more than three days, except for a husband—for whom the mourning is four months and ten days.”
— Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī (1280), Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim (938)
This demonstrates the unique position of the husband in the marital relationship.
b. Pregnant Widow’s ʿIddah
From Subayʿah al-Aslamiyyah (may Allāh be pleased with her):
> “My husband died while I was pregnant. After I gave birth, I approached the Prophet (peace be upon him), and he permitted me to marry [soon after childbirth].”
— Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī (5318), Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim (1484)
This indicates that the ʿiddah for a pregnant widow ends with childbirth, reinforcing that the law revolves around the certainty of the womb’s condition.
Views of Classical Scholars
Imām al-Qurṭubī (d. 671H):
> “The purpose of the ʿiddah is to ensure the womb is clear and to preserve lineage. The period of four months and ten days is sufficient for that, and it is a matter of devotional obedience (taʿabbud), the full wisdom of which may not be entirely known.”
— Tafsīr al-Qurṭubī, 2:234
Imām ash-Shāfiʿī (d. 204H):
> “The wisdom of the waiting period combines the right of the deceased husband and the right of a potential child. Allāh has brought both together in this legislation.”
— Al-Umm
Ibn ʿAshūr (d. 1393H):
> “The specification of four months and ten days is not random. It strikes a balance between emotional mourning, certainty of non-pregnancy, and a grace period before returning to public life or remarrying.”
— Tafsīr al-Taḥrīr wa al-Tanwīr
This should suffice for the first issue. The matter regarding the woman divorced thrice will be addressed in Part Four, in shāʾ Allāh.
