Q&A: Can He Check His Wife's Phone If He Suspects She Is Too Loose with Men?

Tuesday 05-Feb-2019, 5:30PM / 765

Translation: Abu Ubayy Sharif Hamzah

Questioner; A man is suspecting his wife of undue access to males due to her attachment to the social media; can he check her phone to ascertain if she engages in chatting with men on the social media?

Dr Sharaf: Firstly, between the couple, the husband is permitted to monitor the behavior and character of his wife because if the wife behaves in such a way that the husband is not approved off (and he shows a lassitude towards her), it could him from entering Al-Jannah.

If a woman is committing Zina while in her matrimonial house and the husband is not aware or the husband later knows and does nothing about it, it could hinder him from entering Al-Jannah. 

However, the basic ruling is that your wife is not among those you accuse of infidelity when you've not caught her (in the act) and you have not seen any traces (of it) from her.

If marital relationships were to be built on accusing women of Zina, no woman will remain with a man.

If therefore she does not commit any atrocity such that she does not cheat on you, then don't bother otherwise you have the right to question whom among the men she talks to via the new media.

That is the reason we do say;  O Muslim women, fear Allaah; the new technological advancement you see about is a two-edged knife. 

The media could be used in a good way and in a bad way. The latter seems to be more than the former. This is with regards to the social media.

Social media is very dangerous for women, because the (evil) principle "what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander" is what is affecting most (women). 

How can my husband be using social media and I can't use it?

You are a woman and you are under (the roof of) someone.

Some men act crazily and may just decide to divorce their wives without any reason while all efforts to save the marriage from collapse will be fruitless,. What if a valid reason exists? 

The Yorubas would say: "a pity for he who is to be roasted yet is rubbing inflammables over his body." But in this case, the (woman) now sits beside the paraffin. If you bring some fire close to the paraffin, she will be engulfed in the inferno. 

For this reason, going about with phones (is frown at), only ordinary phones will be allowed lest you (as a woman) begin to chat, open a Facebook page and start to add people.. 

She would be sending messages and friend requests to people that she wants to have as friends. You want to have friends?! A housewife?! So pathetic! 

Just as a man will also open his Facebook page and he sees her face and as a result add her that she is looking for a friend. 

AkramakumuLlaah! Is it clear? Is she married or not? 

It has now gotten to a stage that people are now taking housewives as friends by sending them messages. 

They are now telling her her face is beautiful, her husband may not have told her such in recent times) because he is the serious type (who may not have time to check her social media account). Such a husband is busy looking for what the family will eat; whether her face is shining or not does not concern him. The wife may say, Ehn, you did not even look at my face. The husband would reply. I did not look at it, leave me for now (because he's thinking about how to take care of the family). 

But those scavengers outside (on social media) who want to destroy you will be the one to ask "what are you applying to that face? 

She would reply, why are you asking? 

He would reply, I really like it (your face) just as that language you usually say.

Then  the wife will start to think that since her husband married her, he has never said such to her and men who are better than him have already commended her. That's how her matrimonial home would crumble. 

By Allaah, a lot (of homes have crumbled as a result of this), it is sufficient to organize public lecture on the tribulations women have caused themselves as a result of using the social media - but despite that we would not do it. So don't deceive yourself that (we would do it in) in Hudan wa bushrah. That is it. 

Akramakumullaah! 

There are lots of evils in it. Many will tell people this is how my house crumbled as a result of using the social media, this is how he divorced his wife because of the social media. This is how her husband divorced her because of the social media. 
That is the reason we said - but many women do not like to hear it - that women should look for those small phones like Nokia-made ones that have long lasting battery, to receive (only) calls. "Hello! My Husband, where are you?, Hello! Where have you got to now? 

By Allaah, By Allaah, that is the peace: you won't have any problem. But you are the one they saw smiling here, you will soon lose your matrimonial home. That's it. 

For the above, it is not permissible for Muslim women to chat with strange men because it is evil. 

What do you want to discuss with a strange man? When you are not sick, you see a lot of men in your society before you marry your husband. He is yours. Be pleased with him. 

Beware of the consequences of your actions. That's it. 

Indeed those you are chatting with are yet to know you, once they know you, you would realize that what you would encounter will be worse than you have been facing because once you get into their trap, you will regret your action. 

(Source; Questions and Answers Segment of Explanation of Riyaadhus Saliheen.' AL-Amaanah" Dated 30/01/2019).