Written By Aboo Naasir - May Allaah preserve him on goodness
We were discussing with our Shaykh, ash-Shaykh Abu Hammam, Sameer bin Ameen az-Zuhayri - May Allah preserve him upon goodness - here in Burj al-'Arab in Alexandria about how some men beat their wives and things like that.
I was asking questions on it from different angles based on the texts on it and some of the reports from the early Muslims related directly or indirectly to the subject of beating one's wife.
So I thought to clarify that I'm not asking because I beat my own wives. I rather wanted to understand the rulings and manners regarding the issue from an elderly scholar and teacher. And sincerely, I've never touched any of my wives. So I told our Shaykh that I never raised my hand to beat a woman, and I've been married now for almost 20 years!
He looked at me, gave a mild smile, as if to say, "Na'm, Maashaa Allah!" He turned and said (in Arabic what means), "You have never beaten a wife?!" I answered, "Yes, O our Shaykh!" and then he said, "I have NEVER raised voice against a woman"!
I was silent, dumbfounded, I think. He asked, "What does one gain raising a voice against the woman when the matter will ONLY be resolved when parties calmly listen to one another?"
I woke up from the dumb of silence to say, "And I will NEVER raise my voice against a woman."
He looked at me again, smiled and said, "May Allah make it easy for you." My "Amin" was resounding.
May Allah make it easy for us all, both men and women, Amin.