The Diversity in Women: From The Counsel of Al-Khattaab bin Al-Ma'llaa Al-Makhzuumee to His Son

Tuesday 22-Jun-2021, 12:29PM / 638

Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Raheem 


Translation by:

Misbaah Olagunju (Abuu Aamaal)

A-Makhzuumee said, admonishing his son:

O dear son, indeed the wife of a man is his dwelling, and there is no subsistence for him along with her discordance; therefore whenever you intend to marry a woman ask about her family; for nice roots bear pleasant fruits.

And know that women are more diverse in their varieties than the fingers of the palm, so be wary of the nasty ones, those with innate propensity for harm


THE SELF-ABSORBED EGOTIST

And among them is the self-absorbed egotist, disdainful towards her husband, if he respects and honours her she takes that for her superiority over him. She is never grateful for kindness, nor is she ever contented with little from him, her tongue is like a shiny sword on him. Sauciness has uncovered the veil of shame off her face, so she doesn’t feel ashamed of her blemishes, nor does she feel shy in presence of her neighbours. She’s a barking dog stirring up discord biting away (at her husband). Her husband’s face is scarred and his honour vilified, she doesn’t tend to him, not for the sake of the religion nor for worldly gains, and she doesn’t safeguard him, not for the sake of companionship nor for abundance of children, his screen is ripped apart, his veil is uncovered and his goodness are entombed, he has become gloomy and nicknamed the blamer, his drink is bitterness and his meal fury, his child is abandoned and his house worn away, his clothes are dirty and his head dusty, if he tries to laugh he is unable and if he talks it is repugnant, his day is night and his night doom, his bite is (fatal) like that of a barren snake and his sting (deadly) similar to that of a yellow scorpion.


THE BAWDY VOCIFERANT

And among them is the tall saggy bawdy vociferant (clamourer), an embodiment of saturated poison, sparkle, and guile, she brisks with the wind and glides with everything that has wings, If he says: No she says: Yes, if he says: Yes she says: No, born to disgrace him, scornful of what he possess, citing for him samples (in other men) and belittling him beneath (other) men, swinging him between different states, till he detests his own home and becomes weary of his own child and his life become miserable, she weakens for him his soul so much that his brothers rejects him and his neighbours begin to pity him.


THE FOOLISH MORON

And among them is the foolish moron, an epitome of tranquility, composure, and countenance all misplaced, chewer of her tongue, intruder in what is not her business, she has been contented by his love and satisfied with his earning, she eats like an ostentatious donkey, the sun spreads out and her voice is yet to be heard, her house is unkept, her food is stale (left over from previous day) and her plates are dirty, her dough is pungent and her water is tepid, her belongings litter the floor and her utensils are condemned, her servant is (often) beaten and her neighbours are (constantly) fought.


THE COMPASSIONATE LOVER

And among them is the compassionate lover, the blessed fecund (highly fertile), trustworthy when left alone, cherished by her neighbours, grateful in seclusion and in public. An obedient wife, copiously courteous, softly spoken, house keeper. Her servant is robust and her is child beautified. Her goodness is perpetual and her husband is always cozy. widely admired,  friendly, and characterised by modesty and goodness.

May Allah make you O my Son be from those who take to His guidance and get completeness in piety and distanced from His anger and love His pleasure.


Reference:

The Counsel of Al-Khattaab bin Al-Ma'llaa Al-Makhzuumee to His Son; reported by Al-Imaam Al-Haafiz Aboo Haatim Muhammad bin Hibbaan Al-Bustiy (died in 354AH) in his book:  Rawdatul 'Uqalaa wa Nuzahatul Fudhalaa - 181-182 [Daaru Rawaad print (first edition-2014)]