O Muslim sister, if you allow some women whose own homes are in ruin but now present themselves as marriage counsellors and facilitators, to interfere in your marriage, then you will only have yourself to blame later. Many of those counsellors (including some men folks in the clique) are little devils.
Such women will tell you that your husband is not taking care of you as necessary, he is not giving you your due simply because he says you should give more time and attention to your children and home (even when this does not prevent you from earning from home as the case may be).
Such women, as agents of the devil they are, will tell you to 'wise up' and 'talk to your brain' while what they actually want is for your home to crumble while they giggle at your back.
Their matter is as Allaah describes Shaytan in the Qur'aan:
«وَقَالَ الشَّيْطَانُ لَمَّا قُضِيَ الْأَمْرُ ۙ إِنَّ اللّٰهَ وَعَدَكُمۡ وَعۡدَ الْحَقِّ ۖ وَوَعَدتُّكُمۡ فَأَخلَفتُّكُمۡ ۖ وَمَا كَانَ لِي عَلَيۡكُم مِّن سُلۡطٰنٍ إِلَّآ أَن دَعَوۡتُكُمۡ فَاسۡتَجَبۡتُمۡ لِىۡ ۖ فَلَا تَلُومُوۡنِى وَلُوۡمُوۡاۤ أَنفُسَكُمۡ ۖ مَآ أَنَا بِمُصۡرِخِكُمۡ وَمَآ أَنتُمۡ بِمُصۡرِخِيّۢ ۖ إِنِّي كَفَرۡتُ بِمَآ أَشۡرَكۡتُمُوۡنِ مِن قَبۡلُ ۚ إِنَّ الظّٰلِمِينَ لَهُمۡ عَذَابٌ أَلِيۡمٌ»
“And Shaytan will say when the matter is concluded, ‘Indeed, Allah had promised you the promise of truth. And I promised you, but I betrayed you. And I had no authority over you except that I invited you, and you responded to me. So do not blame me; blame yourselves. I cannot be called to your aid, nor can you be called to my aid. Indeed, I deny your association of me [with Allah] before. Indeed, for the wrong-doers is a painful punishment.’” (Surah Ibrahim: 22)
Many among them are now single mothers due to their careless blunders, stubbornness and heedlesness while they were under their former husbands.
Those who are still under a husband have actually reversed the family order. Their husbands are just puppets they can toss about.
O sister, watch out, do not fall a victim, you will have yourself to blame.
A righteous Muslim woman is modest, not attention-seeking, not excessively talkative, and is obedient to Allaah and His Messenger ﷺ, and then to her husband in what is good.
The Messenger of Allaah - sallallahu alayhi wa barakaatuh - the truthful counsellor, counselled the Muslim woman to always stoop before her husband in order to earn the eternal bliss.
He said in the hadeeth of Ka'b bn Ujrah:
أَلا أُخْبِرُكُمْ بنسائِكم مِنْ أهلِ الجنةِ؟ الودودُ الولودُ، العؤودُ؛ التي إذا ظُلِمَتْ قالت: هذه يدي في يدِكَ، لا أذوقُ غُمْضًا حتى تَرْضى.
"Shall I not inform you of your women who will be among the people of Paradise? She is the loving, the child-bearing, the one who returns (to reconcile). When she is wronged, she says: ‘Here is my hand in your hand. I will not taste sleep until you are pleased." (Saheeh al-Jaami, Hasan)
Allaah the Mighty Lord described the righteous women as
«فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ»
“And the righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard.”
We ask Allaah for guidance.
Aboo Aamir from Ibadan.
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